i think love is inconvenient.
maybe that’s why the best loves, always seem to hurt so much.
or maybe i’m the only one who goes through that..
because they;re one sided..
deck; duster; hair in a towel; crickets and god knows whatelse..
i don’t think anyone even reads this.. i think everyone forgets it exists.
that’s probably good.
i feel like i’m always writing specifics.
being a human is really annoying.
being a human whos growing and is reminded of that growing, is worse.
what am i suppose to do.
i wish there was a manual for life-
like, when xyz happens.. do xyz..
because then maybe i wouldnt have fucked it all up so royaly.
because that’s cool..
i feel like that show, everybody hates chris.
only, it’s everybody hates tilly.
lets fuck up her life and lie to her because she’ll believe us then we’ll fuck it up and just ghost her.
honesty, at this point- it HAS TO BE A JOKE.
like, this is to much.
i should sleep..
i don’t say that alot..
but it is.
being alone, isnt always easy.
i think i’m really stonrg and really good at it- but i’m still struggling sometimes..
drinking DOES NOT HELP.
let that be my psa-
if you’re alone and your life sucks. drinking won’t make it go away- it magnifies it.
so just skip it.
or do it once just to test it for yourself maybe..
but when you literally can’t think of anyone else to call.. just know you fucked up.
like. no one will save you from yourself.
it’s all you.
from here on out/
even if some dude asks you to marry him.
just. say. no.
he doesn’t mean it.
“i thought i’d fall in love with you eventually”
no one will.