and i’ve had two people ask me how i felt about that.
which is nice.
it’s nice anyone cares.
because i’m starting not to.
bed; pink nightgown; glasses; bun; fan
my eyes are still burning from a nap i took earlier.
i’ve been taking naps then staying up all night with a full head.
but my heart seems at a strange peace.
i’m not sad or mad or anything when i’m up late like this, just- thoughtful.
i feel, creative. curious.
i have a million questions and want to figure so many things out-
only to remind myself i may not be able to figure things out.
it’s nice to have choices, even when the choices seem so overwhelming sometimes.
i get like- baffled thinking i can do whatever i want.
not only me, everyone- can do WHATEVER they want.
(some things have consequences. but, “doing nothing has consequences also”)
i think a lot of people forget that.
they think they’ll just quit on life- and it won’t quit on them. they can stop caring or trying or dreaming or wanting- and things will just fall into your lap.
WAKE THE FUCK UP
and GET THE FUCK UP. this is YOUR life and YOU have to live it. no one can do that for you. no one gets to create your life for you-
well, maybe they do. if you don’t.
“if you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”
that quote wasn’t right- but it’s close enough i think the point is made.
you’ve gotta advocate for yourself and your happiness and for whatever it is that awakens your soul.
that’s your job to find that.
and you’re allowed to.
and you don’t need to be sorry that you’re doing it.
and you don’t need to be sorry that it takes you time to do it.
you just need to do it, and enjoy the journey and experiences along the way and be thankful for every single one of them.
because they’re honestly preparing you.
every moment in your life really is preparing you for the one your in currenty.
and the next one will do the same.
until you die.
then i’m sure your lame ass life has in some way prepared you for whatever is next.
like when you’re reincarnated into a cat.
wow, i must be on the verge of something.
or it’s the full moon.